I always had a hard time believing in my abilities and I think almost every woman I’ve met has had a similar opinion of themselves. Why do we do it?
I worked hard at being the best I could be and that should’ve been enough, but somehow I wanted to be better than that, thought I should’ve been better. But I was always good at my job. I made mistakes rarely, was capable and organised, had stacks of energy and initiative, and achieved promotions, giving the outward appearance of being successful in my career. I just didn’t credit myself enough at the time.
And then menopause came, and I started to lack self-confidence, starting making errors, forgetting simple things, losing concentration, lacking structure and imagination in my work, reaching the point of wanting to leave.
This was devastating to me. How could I go from being well respected for my work to frequently being told I’d made another cock-up? It was simple. It was my brain missing oestrogen.
Even when I was successful, I would berate myself for not doing better and now I actually was poor at my work; a self-fulfilling prophecy? And boy, did I have a daily field day with all the negative and demeaning self-talk. I didn’t know how lucky I had been pre-menopause!
It took me years to let myself off the hook but now I’ve accepted myself so much so that when I cock up I just roll my eyes and smile. Literally! I can laugh at myself so easily now. Although lucky for me, most of my abilities have returned to an acceptable normal.
Why on earth did I put myself under such pressure when menopause arrived? It was because I didn’t know enough about it. If I’d known then how much fluctuating and decreasing oestrogen had affected everything about me, I might have accepted it much, much sooner, and had an easier experience. The key here is that I didn’t know.
KNOWLEDGE is your best ally. It gives you choices. If you want to know more, let’s talk and I’ll make sure you learn all you need to know.
I’m not a qualified clinician, dietician, or psychologist, or anything! I write based only on my own experiences, personal views, and research into menopause. Please always seek the advice of a professional. Jacky Wood