Some years ago, I read an article in the Daily Mail. They’d interviewed half a dozen men who were married to women of menopausal age. Sadly, half of the men said their marriages had broken down, two said they were slowly working through and one couple had coped wonderfully.
When menopause arrives, a woman’s self-esteem can be the first obstacle because it’s so often impacted. She may feel more fatigue, her joints may feel achy, she may be coping less well than before, she might get weepy, needy, or feel unattractive. And for some, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Let’s say it hits, and she knows what it is; it’s perimenopause. No mystery then. But when the symptoms emerge, she may try to ignore them, work through them, deny they exist, and the more she does this, the harder it’ll be to cope with them, deal with them, or get help for them.
These feelings are unfamiliar and alien to her but she certainly doesn’t want her relationship or work affected. So in denying and fighting against the changes, she doesn’t discuss them with her partner or anyone else, but they get worse and over time, her attitude towards her partner alters, due to the effects she’s feeling, and now she’s just emotional all the time and can’t describe what the problem is, and gets angry when she’s asked.
And there are problems because she doesn’t want sex any more; she can’t be bothered. She doesn’t want to go out; she can’t be bothered. She doesn’t show any interest in the things they used to do together; she can’t be bothered.
I’m stating worst case here, but this happens to far too many couples. It’s so sad! And so unnecessary.
If you know of anyone in a partnership where you think this is occurring, please point them my way. I’m happy to work with couples to help them through.
Everyone deserves to live long in happiness ♥
I’m not a qualified clinician, dietician, or psychologist, or anything! I write based only on my own experiences, personal views, and research into menopause, and the fact that I want to help women. Please always seek the advice of a professional. Jacky Wood