Keep the fire burning – before, during and after menopause

The term ‘fire burning’ may have two distinct meanings for you.  For instance, having a hot flush?  The term ‘hot flush’ may not even touch the sides of the emotions you’re feeling!  It may be so bad, that in an instant, your personality changes, and not for the good.

You may become angry, irrational, fearful, frustrated, wanting to scream, cry, run away, and of course, the heat.. intense, right from your core, until the perspiration spreads upwards, then downwards, to the ends of your hair and tips of your toes..  It can be awful.  Unless, of course, your version of ‘hot flush’ is a slight warmth that dissipates after you gently fan yourself.  That’s the version I wish for you! 

A more challenging part for you may be how you tell your partner you don’t want them anywhere near you, and to leave you alone.  Or how you explain that the feelings have now completely disappeared and you’re ‘back to normal’ and you’re happy to be close to them again.  The word ‘eggshells’ comes to mind..

This is why communication is so very important.  The menopause years can be such a challenging time for a couple.  Menopausal symptoms are not voluntary.  I repeat, NOT VOLUNTARY, and until you get the help you need and deserve, you and your partner may end up confused, isolated and distant.

Partners please, PLEASE try to be patient; encourage your girl to describe what it is she’s feeling, give her your attention, and please research TOGETHER, so that you both get some knowledge behind you.  It’ll be your best ally and will give you both strength.  

Moreover, don’t forget to maintain affection, compassion, forgiveness, and loving touch.  I can offer you some beautiful practices to help you keep the closeness, during and beyond menopause, no matter what symptoms persist.  In keeping it, you will learn so much more about each other and your relationship will deepen.  It’s often adversity that can drive us closer, and it’s possible here too.

Remember that love is powerful and yours exists.  Just be patient with each other and understand there’s a lot of fear around situations that are strange to us.  Learning all you can about the circumstances that surround yours is vital to your future happiness together and will help you to keep the fire burning.

Please be kind to each other XX

Contact me on for a chat.  No charge.

#menopause #communication #compassion #keepthefireburning

 I’m not a qualified clinician, dietician, or psychologist.  I write based only on my own experiences and research into menopause. J Wood 

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