This one’s for our men and women partners; the ones who find themselves confused about us; those who can’t say anything right to us; who can’t be heard by us; who are lost, and who are desperate to help us, but feel helpless to do so. Women lovers might be more understanding about what’s happening to us, simply due to the fact that women tend to talk more about menopause than men. But men will likely have difficulty in sympathising when they haven’t even experienced a painful, mood-agitating, hormone-disrupting period in their lives.
Loved ones, our menopause is NOT voluntary. Our symptoms aren’t fake. Our changes are a natural part of our evolution and things WILL settle down, I promise you. What’s happening to us is simply this: our oestrogen levels are falling and fluctuating and because oestrogen has been our operating and driving hormone since birth, our body is flailing as we lose our vital physical, mental and energetic support.
So WE first have to come to terms with changes to our periods, habits, decision-making capabilities, skin and hair, confidence levels, mood swings (I could go on). Then maybe, just maybe, we can explain to YOU that experiencing these things is so frightening, we feel lost and confused and no longer able to handle everyday problems the way we used to. We may feel we are letting you down, letting the kids down, not coping well at work, or with the problems that our parents are having, because it feels like our strength to cope is ebbing away.
But in having these new feelings, we may just feel too embarrassed to expose our ‘weaknesses’ to you, because what if you don’t like the new me, or my new body, and what if my moods become too difficult between us? And when I say ‘not now’, I don’t mean ‘never’. I sometimes just need a cuddle until I feel better. I want you to understand what’s going on, but I really need love and compassion right now, until we can both get to know the facts, and what to do about them….
So how about it partners? Do you think you could put aside feelings of rejection from your girl and consider instead how you can support her? Could you offer your compassion and a listening ear? Could you assure her that you’ll be there for her, no matter what, and that you’ll see it through together (and perhaps as a family)? Because, believe me, that support will make all the difference in the world. She and you together in loving unity, and not senselessly detached from one another.
I know it’s not easy for you, but there are many solutions to menopause symptoms available to all women. We just have to know where to look. I can certainly help on that.
Message me for a chat any time, if you’d like to learn ways to support your beloved. You both deserve it.
I’d like to recommend you read: ‘Men…Let’s Talk Menopause’ (What’s going on and what you can do about it) by Ruth Devlin.
#menandmenopause #menopause #moodswings #anxiety
I’m not a qualified clinician, dietician, or psychologist. I write based only on my own experiences and research into menopause. J Wood